♥JACQ's

♥ Monday, March 23, 2009

My Life♥

finally homeleave ends today.

now i am only waiting for 5 more days.

but, i dont know what to say to him on that day.

cause i feel like too much things happened when he is gone.

its like, why not happen when he is around.

at least i still get to confront him?

now? i cant even confront him.

he be coming out on the saturday.

i dont want to dampened our mood.

cause it should be a happy ocasation, not a quarrel session?

haized, i dont know what to do.

perhaps, i should act like nothing happen first.

or should i just keep it to myself?

i am losing confidence in myself already, i seems so easily defeated now.

gosh, what am i supposed to do?

okay, after thinking for 1o fcuking mins.

i come to a decision, i wont tell him anything. =/

i know abit silly la, but i dont wan quarrel le.

the more we quarrel, the more our feeling will fade.

i dont know what to do!

i know my feeling wont fade so easily,

but, his feeling fade very easily.

i am afraid that he will unfaithful&& do thins behind me again.

i really dont know why. =/

i am so sick now, my eyes can hardly open,

my nose is giving me trouble&& i am having a minor headache.

=/ feeling abit defeated right now!

post again soon!

♥ JACQ Was Here

10:05 AM

♥

My Life♥

alright, its midnight already.

&& guess why i am blogging?

cause its monday, 23MARCH'o9
its "CASSANDRA ANG YA ZHEN" birthday.

i remembered how you girls celebrated my birthday.

seriously, i am shocked.

super super damn shocked!

alright, darling i hope you be able to think more wisely after you grow up.

16 years old le. not more a kid le, you are a teenager le.

then next year, you be like me so pretty.

cause i 17 years old ma, hahahahas..

only we will get the joke. right? =D

i hope i be able to give you a surprise.

lied to you that i forget its your birthday cause i want to give you surprise!

hahahahas, i loveyou girl!

once my xiaomeinu, forever will be my xiao meinu!

♥ JACQ Was Here

12:22 AM

♥ Sunday, March 22, 2009

My Life♥

what a bad day i had today, or rather a stress up day?

i dont know, received a nasty SMS today.

it wrote" eww..bytch euu. ahsong iish moii. dun euu ever dare tu snatch hym away from moii."

&& i called back the number, guess what?

its said "the m1 customer that you are calling is currently unavaliable."

then when i replied back, i said:

'' who are you? bet you are just a xiao ahlian uh? lol, what century le? still type like this?

please, no one type like this anymore. =) i snatch him away from you? okay, if you insist i snatch him, then so be it alright. if you want, he be coming out the next saturday.

message him in the afternoon, text him.

he want leave me, i let him go, i wont cling onto him. okay?

i am not threatening you. "

then after few hours..

she/he replied: " i m ur mother! fuckiing bytch, he alreadi dun luv euu alreadi, y stiill wan tu stick wit hym?

he onli usin euu to wait fer hym onli. he cum out he wiill wan moii mre than euu.

sho just leave hym, he wun say break. wat tyme he cum out?"

then i replied back,

" sorry, i am not good at words. but what i want to say is, i wont say break unless he ask for,

cause i hurt him to much, in the past.

but if he want to be with you, and if those letters things he said is just sweet talk.

i got nothing to say, he want you more than me?

i wont believe unless he say it to me himself.

he is coming out at 10, he asked me to wait for him at yew tee.

so if you want, go there wait for him.

he onced said, no trust no love, simple as abc.

without prove,how am i going to trust what you have just said to me."

then she replied again.

" we c wat n hu he wiill choose. he wiill choose moii de. cause he say to moii b4,

he no feeliing fer euu le. he onli wan tu play euu.

cause euu nice tu play."

then i replied back again,

" he play me? whatever lah, i dont even fcuking care about anything anymore le.

so much things happen le, want play.

play la, not happy? come la.

he want choose you? let it be lah, if you are here just to show off that you are better than me.

or just to make me lose hope in myself, then i tell you,

you done a great job!!

cause i dont have strength to walk on anymore.

i dont even have confidence in myself anymore.

so kindly fcuk off! dont fcuking message me!

wait for him to come out && reunion with him la. fcuk!!"

then she replied back,

"okayys, wiish moii n hym happii n last long.

thx, buaiibuaii."

and, i didnt reply anymore.

&& so here i am crying off my chest.

feeling so hopeless,no one to talk out to,

no one to treasure me.&& make me feel better.

is this what he really want? or is that just a girl who have a huge crush on him?

or they really do have things going in between them?

i am feeling so lost and no confidence in myself.

i dont have the sense of security.

baby, if this isnt true, then prove to me!

my heart is really dying.

7 more days, to be exact now left with 6 more days.

its past midnight already.

haized, baby prove to me...

Labels: i am breaking down soon. =/

♥ JACQ Was Here

12:57 AM

♥ Saturday, March 21, 2009

My Life♥

hubby, i got so many things to rant it out at you.

things that i arent unsatifised about with myself.

things that i arent happy about friends.

things that kept inside my heart for a long long time.

i really dont know what to do!

haiz, going out with pingping to chaichee cc,

to sing K.

supposingly to meet ana, end up dua me again.

then actually today we planned to meet up all sisters.

but end up, never.

some dont have their number.

some, got something on so only me&&pingping.

okay, i miss my boy!

i hope i will enjoy today?

♥ JACQ Was Here

11:19 AM

♥ Friday, March 20, 2009

My Life♥

you know sometimes i just wanna lead a peaceful life.

but, people just cant seems to give it to me.

freedom, is what i wanted all along.

LOVE, is also what i wanted too.

but, my now my freedom is controled by others.

LOVE? also unpredicable.

you say this then after that you change your words.

your father dislike me, although now its abit okay.

but, i dont want like that.

isnt it better if we could go out together then at least eat with each other?

like what we used to do with my mother?

i dont know why, but all of a sudden i feel its important that your father must like me.

in a sense that, i am your girlfriend.

and not treating me so cold.

i tried my best to be good, but just no one seems to understand?

i feel stress, very stress i dont know why.

people to dote on me, especially you.

i just hope when you come out, you be abit more sensible,

think for your future even if we cant last or what.

i just hope you will work hard,

not for me,but for yourself.

at times when i am lonely at home.

i cried, cry why you want do stupid things that land you inside?

i know its my fault, for asking much.

i blamed myself for the sily things you did for me.

iloveyou from the bottom of my heart,

but what did i get in return?

your unfaithfulness, your playboy pattern.

when i cried so much for you, you still can joke around.

i am suffering so much, but yet? i get nothing in return.

i just need your unlimited LOVE, CARE for me

i know i am not a princess...

right now, i am speechless.

i just need you by my side,

telling me its alright, you be there for me FOREVER.

&& till death do we part.

but will this happen?

Labels: emo-ing, i am missing you

♥ JACQ Was Here

9:29 PM

♥

My Life♥

woah, yesterday ton with my sister.

movie marathon, hahas.

been so bored this few days, ahpui wants me to go town today.

but i am still sleepy.

instead, i feel like going for a shesha session.

perhaps i wait for fiona, cecilia and other cliques?

i miss that shesha session once,

this time i gonna pay back.

its boring staying at home, tml going out with ah wenn.

still have no idea where we are heading to.

alright, i am going to post letter to bi already.

someone wants me to write letter to you.

i mean, someone ask me pass message to him.

OMFG, my nose is giving me problem.

=/ keep sneezing and sneezing non-stop.

oh ya, i want to buy a webcam soon,

then can webcam with ahpui&& other resident.

=D alright everyone enjoy your day! =D

♥ JACQ Was Here

3:09 PM

♥ Thursday, March 19, 2009

My Life♥

okay, this few days was like rotting at home.

huiwen is gonna leave gh soon.

as she is going america with her husband, so sweet right?

hahas, happy for her! yao xin fu uh!

as for me and hubby.

he like haven receive my letter.

i keep on messaging his friend.

cause i scared he anyhow think, as he is has a very good imagination.

asked his friend is he angry when he didnt receieved my letters.

his friend said, he is angry.

hubby's another friend called ah long this week saturday coming out.

haized, wondering will he pass message to me?

or is he still in isolation.oh no, i miss him badly.

i wondering have i gotten an illness from camilia.

i have been imagining things this few days.

&& after imagine it i started to laugh like it did exist.

ana&&her boyf. and grace saw.they looked at me like..then i tolded girl this :

" no la, i imagine ahsong come out i hug him tell him those mushy mushy things."

*hahahahahahaahahahah*

here goes my laughter.okay la, yesterday was that kian seng birthday.

made him a card and i hope when bi is out they be a very good friend.

&& they be called the seng song brothers!

hahahahahahas!no worries, my heart is still with my love. =D

yesterday recieved his letters too.

i thought he is angry with me.

cause he haven receive my letters.

but the truth is i already send out 4 already!=D

kept asking people to pei me countdown.

from today, 9 more days to his release.

okay, gotta post up pictures that i took yesterday!

♥ JACQ Was Here

10:17 PM

♥ Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My Life♥

hello peeps.

back to blogging.

well, i just dyed my hair today.

well, its very obvious.

i dont know what to do,

but i seriously like the colour very very much!

hehes, thanks to palthy,

spelling error lah

hehex, cant wait to show baby my new hair colour!

bye!

♥ JACQ Was Here

1:47 PM

♥ Monday, March 16, 2009

My Life♥

you know? sometimes i just sense a very strong of jealousy

i just dont know how to explain that.

like, its super tough.

well, i am speechless baby.

=( 12 more days.

♥ JACQ Was Here

12:41 PM

♥ Friday, March 13, 2009

My Life♥

Lets take it as a friend first.

if you are my friend.

you wont encourage me to leave him while he is alone suffering.

you should know that i deeply and madly in love with him,

although i know he perhaps love me no more.

but still its my choice to wait or not.

so what if he really want to make use of me and ask me to wait for him?

as long as i did my best and tried right?

thats enough already, i dont care about tian chang di jiu.

i only care about ceng jin yong you.

thats enough, keep your NASTY&&HURTFUL remarks to yourself.

you arent better than me, instead i find you more pathetic.

who cares if you have more friends?

do i look like i care?

ya, so what he likes to be with you?

your selfishness&& everything will return back to you again.

too dissapointed.

if a friend were to say this infront of me.

trust me, i dont care how long friendship, sistership or even brothership.

i can just take it i dont have such friends before.

this is reality, through this 12 days without him.

its just 12 days only. yet? so many things happened already.

i really sort out alot of things, yes friends is important.

i totally agree with that, but what about friends that do stuff behind you?

we may not know somethings, but the truth will always light up.

perhaps in the end, i am still not your choice.

but, still i managed to see people true colour.

fake people i seen alot, but i never seen people who fake so much like you.

perhaps at times i misunderstood you i am sorry.

but, sad to say.

you will never be my best buddy or friend anymore.

&&hubby, you will never ever understand the sufferings that i gone thru when you are gone,

fake people that i used to thought that it was my FRIEND!

how hurting can it be?

stop pointing fingers around, cause i will never say out who is this her/he.

because .. You're not my friend anymore.

the hurt that you causedme to really almost gave him up.

made me hate you, and even hate myself more.

i am going crazy, i dont know whats going on!

i dont even know to carry on or to let go!

Labels: You're not my friend anymore.

♥ JACQ Was Here

6:27 PM

♥ Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Life♥

1. Besides Ur lips,where is the favorite spot to get kissed?- my nose. =)

2. How do u feel when u wake up this morning?- i feel like seeing him. -_-

3. Who was the last person u took photo with?- ANA

4. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?- definely YES!

5. Would you ever donate blood?- i dont think so, i am scared. =/

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was the opposite sex?- obvious!

7. Do u wan someone dead?- wtf? no lah.

8. What does ur last text message says?- crazybaby, you today got see jiemin?

9. What are u thinking right now?- thinking about exam stuffs an HIM. =/

10. Do you wish someone to be with you right now?- YESYES, please

11. What is the time you go to bed last night?- 10.3o?

12. Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?- i am wearing school Uniform now.

13. Is someone on ur mind right now?- YES! imissyou

14. Who was the last person who texted you?- CASSANDRA ANG

random quiz by someone, hahas!

♥ JACQ Was Here

3:47 PM

♥

My Life♥

omg, guess what made me high for the day today?

MERMAID LAGOON.

at tokyo disneyland.

omg, how i wish my boyfriend will bring me there.

serious speaking. its amazing!

king's triton cave.

and statue of ariel, omg its all making me crazy!

i want to go!

who can bring me?

lol, i seriously want to go there badly.

please bring me there boyf.

LOL~

♥ JACQ Was Here

10:05 AM

♥ Monday, March 2, 2009

My Life♥

currently in school now,

guess what sports day i am running for a event too.

i hope i will win?

i mean we, as in me, lau, ruzanna and aziliah for the relay.

lol, serious speaking i am starting to love my class more and more.

but i am starting to neglect my school works.

thats is not a very good thing.

lol, my friendster uploaded a new picture.

lol, comment it leh. tell me izzit nice?

lol, i like the effect you see.

i only edited the heart shape and the name thats all.

nothing else.

comment it okay?

school is fun so far.

but, 1 thing is i haven got your letter.

okay, thats random.

oh ya, i read the book that the LOW KAY HWA wrote.

its an interesting book.

i almost cried...

and besides the crying, i also laughed.

thats a good book i swear.

alright, back to lesson. =)

JACQUELINE is going to studying real hard okay?

okay here is one picture of me&&pingping.

my precious de MILKBOTTLE.

we went through alot of obstacles.

&& now still we are going on very strong.

this picture is taken 1 week back then. =)

IMY girl.

♥ JACQ Was Here

10:27 AM